“I Park Like An Idiot”
I’ve noticed, that after the first snowfall of every year, people forget very basic driving skills.
I’m not just talking about the people that forget, “hey, that’s ice, maybe I should make sure I can stop…
Nope….”
*CRASH*
No, I can actually deal with those guys.
Or the people who are like, “I should probably scrape my windows and defrost my windshield…
I’m only have to drive 40 miles until I reach my destination, I’ll be ok….”
#INSERT RANDOM EXPLOSIONS#
Those guys aren’t that bad either.
It’s the people that think, just because they can’t see the lines means that they aren’t there.
This is not hide-and-go-seek where when someone can’t see you means you can’t see them!
No, in-fact, the lines are still in effect.
And they haven’t changed direction, color, or sexual orientation.
They’re the same, and I shouldn’t have to spend my time painting snow yellow just to make sure I can get a parking spot at any given time of the day.
Also, snow-plow people, please don’t put snow in, on, around, or under my vehicle, it puts me in a bad mood.
Which you have already put me in since I just discovered the 39 and 1/2 parking spots you dumped snow upon.
My parking lot it not a snow landfill city worker-man, no, and you are foolish for treating it as such. Please stop because I am tired of having to park in my living room just to be able to turn my car off.
Between the people that park horizontally, in their F-950s, across diagonal spots, thus wasting 12 perfectly good receptacles for my 350 lbs Chevy Caviler, (I really only need half a spot guys, seriously) and the inconsiderate plowmen, winter is a very cold season.
And that’s why it snows.
Jerry Was a Race Car Driver
So I’m in college.
And in college they teach you lots of crap.
Like how Gandhi took over the world with his awesome violence.
And how Christopher Columbus sailed off the edge of the world into endless misery.
Some of the crap that I have learned stinks…
…good…
In my applied physics class I learned about the speed of race cars as related to external characteristics
Not that I would ever find a reason to apply this….
or physics… it?
For example: One could judge the average speed of a car based on three factors, Type, Color and Stripes.
The list goes as such (fastest to slowest):
Type: Coupe, Sedan, Truck, Minivan, Go-Kart
Color: Red, Yellow, Orange, Black, Green, Blue, Gold (Unless Michael Johnson), Silver, Gray, White
Stripe Modifier: Each stripe raises the cars speed one color stage
Here are some practice problems
A green truck with two racing stripes will tie with what?
An orange truck with no racing stripes
Here’s a harder one
a gold minivan with fifteen racing stripes will race as fast as what?
A yellow truck with no racing stripes
Two more
A purple sedan with 3 racing stripes will race as fast as what?
An orange coupe (purple = red + blue)
finally…
Michael Johnson in a gold go-kart will race as fast as?
The concord jet
Pretty easy right?
I love Physics!
RAGE!
So what happens when you cross three college seniors, a town house name black storm and rage? This does. From now on I will be letting the world know what I have to say, because I’ve got a lot to say and it’s good, or maybe not…
